I have received a small number of emails from some who have known Houman or have read his book, “Enlightenment Beyond Traditions,” along with new comments recently posted in reply to various posts herein by me. Please know that I do intend to write to everyone who has contacted me, and that all contact has been with the intent of thanking me for having come forward to share about my knowledge of, and from, Houman.
There are no words within the human realm of normal communications that I could possibly write to express the blessing I feel to have been allowed to convey Houman’s love, to experience that love growing the hearts of others; as his contact with me in this incarnation has been doing for my own heart.
As you know, from my earlier posts, I never believed in anything spiritual, let alone ‘reincarnation.’ Simply typing the word ‘spooks me,’ to this day. Yet, it is now time to share yet another contact that Houman made with me, a contact involving this very concept.
It happened one late afternoon in the cottage… yes, the yellow cottage…(as one of my correspondents described it, and one day/post soon I will, too)…and, yes, it is on Grigor Fedan’s property, on the lycee farm that he and his brother own together. I was in the bedroom wondering “Why me?” Why did he pick someone who ‘didn’t need this kind of knowledge?’ Why did I get chosen by someone I never even met?
He answered… with: we had known one another in a prior lifetime.
Houman continued to ‘tell me’ – as usual, without actual words…that we had been very close and that one of us died, before which he promised me he ‘would be there for me in the future.’ He went on to ‘tell me’ that he knew that I had been living a difficult life this time, and that now I would get to enjoy a long and happy life.
Just typing that feels as if I believe in ‘psychics’ …funnier still to me, as I am ‘the psychic’ in this case. Yet, I desire to be no such thing. Houman respects that I will not allow him to tell me anything beyond what I truly need to know. In that, I mean that I have asked him to not try to prove himself to me further, by telling me ‘predictions and such.’ He tried once and I asked him to stop. He immediately did.
I understand now that His purpose in coming to me in this lifetime was to awaken me to the Love I knew ‘before,’ and to reassure others who read this that he has had such Love with, whether it has been physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, brotherly, communal…what have you…that LOVE NEVER EVER DIES…and the beloved and the lover always remain ‘as One,’ because we truly are One, all children of God.
Let’s see… the only other time that I have been able to ‘intuit’ what exactly happened between he and I in that particular lifetime was during some bodywork with Lilia Cangemi. While she was working on me about 6 weeks ago now, I ‘received’ that I was the one to die, and that he had told me, as I was dying, that he would be there for me in the future… I received from him that he told me that as I was approaching passing over from a very painful death. I had some small tears upon learning that from him, but since then I know that ‘the tears’ were simply my own self-love that hadn’t, and still isn’t quite, fully-grown…I had felt then as if it were a sacrifice for him to have wanted to be there for me… to find a way…as if I hadn’t ‘deserved’ such love. I have since realized that everyone does. We are all children of God, none any better, nor worse, than the next. It is all only a matter of which role we play at any given moment ‘in time.’
Also, upon reflection, as I continue to hear from others who have been uplifted by what I have been sharing here, I continue to understand the answer to my question, “Why me?” “Why did I get woken?”
It is this, as far as I can tell: I was woken in this lifetime because no matter what had ‘happened to me,’ I have always believed (again, in this lifetime) that nothing is greater than Love. No wrathful God, no greed, no amount of violence, no pain I suffered at the ignorance or wrath of another…nothing… Houman’s Love, Love which has eclipsed time and space, and is beyond the belief of many, as it was even beyond my own prior beliefs, that type of Love can only be felt by those who are ready, in a particular lifetime… It is now working through these fingers, and this cyberspace, which we all find to be so awesome, yet is nothing in comparison to what Love can do.
The type of Love he embodied as ‘Houman E Emami” now breathes through each of us who have been blessed to be touched by his particular angel-wings, if you will: those who truly loved him, or have experienced him as I have in a past life, and some who have felt his presence simply via reading his words… that is the type of Love which nothing can stop. NOTHING. Yet, its very abilities to reach us also depends on OUR HEARTS never, ever ‘giving up,’ and always seeking to love more, via our human experience, no matter what.
What I have just written, may sound a bit like a puzzle… and, for that, I am sorry. It is my way of making sense of ‘it all.’
I only know that because Houman ‘proved to me’ his HEART…his SOUL… not only went on ‘post-mortem,’ but knew the future, I have chosen to accept his reply to my question.
So, reincarnation…yes…as ‘spooky’ still to me it is to contemplate… I believe.
Why do we reincarnate? I have asked him and he has replied…in fact, only a few days ago now:
He tells me because ‘There is no Done.’ LOVE is never Done.
June 22, 2014: I removed the rest of my original post, the ending, because upon re-reading it, I realized that I added my own thoughts to what Houman told me, and the purpose of this blog was/is ONLY to ‘report’ what happened to me… I am about to share the blog and wanted to make sure it was clearly written, so came back to it tonight to re-read it for clarity …I saw some typos that I will not correct right now, but I also saw on this post that I ended up saying things about reincarnation that Houman did not communicate…So, I took down my own thoughts about it, because they went beyond ‘reporting,’ and that is not my place…
So, to clarify…
Regarding reincarnation…yes, I “believe” in it now, but I do not know if it is an option our souls receive for all eternity… I imagine it may be, but I don’t know… when he told me ‘There is no done,’ I assumed he meant reincarnation was forever, and then I wrote about it as such…but I don’t know that…and, I now do not feel it important to even know the answer…I do not ask questions of Houman any longer… because all of the questions I had for him have been answered…at least it feels that way to me…
Actually, as I type this right now, I feel him again… and he is glad that I have chosen to only publish what I received, and nothing more.
SO: What I KNOW:
I only KNOW that Houman managed to do what he set out to do… he managed to leave energy behind for someone he knew would be coming to live in the cottage he taught meditation in…and, that person was, apparently, me…
I KNOW I re-experienced his drowning/suicide and then received the ‘proof’ I needed to KNOW it was truly real, as real as it felt (the proof being my learning about the 3 separate witnesses he had separately spoken to of his intent to leave energy behind in that cottage, for someone who would be coming to live there).
I KNOW I ended up asking him why me?…and the answer was that he chose to help wake me, because of our having known one another in a past life… I also KNOW I do not have proof of that answer…but I also know that if I had had a choice, I’d rather have received the message that he went on to be an angel that God sent down to help me, someone who had not even thought a belief in God was ‘good’… but, no…I ‘received’ reincarnation…
It was actually unsettling to me, because it didn’t belong in either the set of beliefs I was fed as a child in Catholic School that Heaven or Hell is eternal, nor the set of beliefs most soft and hard atheists hold that this one lifetime is either ‘most probably’ all there is, or is all there is… but, it was the answer I got, along with “Love is never done growing…There is no done.” So, I then thought that meant that reincarnation was eternal, but I know he only meant to tell me that that it is why there is reincarnation…
So, I only believe in reincarnation as a phenomenon can happen, because he communicated that and because it explained the ‘why me’ question… but, I do not know if it happens eternally…
I had assumed it was our ‘eternal destiny,’ but he never told me that…I interpreted his answer to my ‘why me’ question… I interpreted the ‘There is no done’ reply.
This is part of what I wrote in my original post that shows my interpretation:
“We are eternally given a plane upon which to exist…a garden within which we can grow our hearts…from The Divine Love from which we all sprang. Like children being let out to play, to grow and learn, and then return each evening into the arms of our loving parents…”
It just came out of me…but it was not ‘consciously received by me’ from Houman.
So, I wanted to ‘correct’ that this evening… it was me, not Houman, who wrote about our ‘eternal destiny’ in terms of reincarnation. In re-reading this post today, I realized that all Houman told me was that he and I reincarnated and that souls get to choose… and that Love wants to grow… it was my ‘interpretation’ that reincarnation would be eternal…
I am not sure why I first wrote about it as ‘our eternal destiny.’ Maybe it came out of me because I felt so happy to learn that Love grows… and we get to help grow Love…
I hope all of that was’t too confusing…I can be wordy…
Basically, I had asked: Why me? He communicated about our past lives. I then asked, Why reincarnation? He communicated about growing Love never being done… and then I thought he meant reincarnation was forever… as reflected in the portion of my prior post in quotes above.
It’s interesting to me now…I see that I had become so spiritual after this all happened…after my learning of the 3 witnesses…I suppose because I was so non-spiritual before…but, time has passed and I am becoming much more balanced now… I felt a need to preach, I think… that is probably why I went into interpreting what he communicated.
Well… all that really matters is that I still feel extremely blessed, more so than ever, actually, as time has helped me ‘digest’ what happened to me…and, I know that I have been able to grow much more love since, both love of others and self…. What matters also is that my sharing what happened to me, about how I totally and completely unexpectedly (and, perhaps I can even say, against my will) was “woken” has helped some other people… and that truly is all that matters…growing more love…because as Houman told me…Love is never done.