paranormal, souls, near death experiences

I shot this pic at the sacred shrine…That is the tourist plaque and that is my shadow on it, taken before I tossed the little piece of white coral onto the pile…

~ ~ ~  Edited on 5/21/2012Well…it’s time for me to wrap up my accounting of what I have “Thus Far” experienced of, and received from, the heart of the soul of a man previously known as “Houman E Emami” ~  Yes, kinda like ‘the artist previously known as Prince,’ except Prince is still alive, and took his name back 😉

Ah…comic relief, always something I have enjoyed tremendously.

Still… this blog has not been about anything ‘all that funny,’ has it?   It’s been about Life…the why’s, the what the Hell happened to me’s?, the OMG’s (Oh, My God!’s), and the acceptance of a completely different understanding of Life and Love, including a once-thought-by-me-to-be-impossible-by-all understanding of God and Souls.

It’s even been about other people’s encounters with Houman, during their present incarnations…something I never even thought about when I came back to leave my experiences in cyberspace…I only ever REALLY thought that someone might wonder about the co-author of the book, “Enlightenment Beyond Traditions,” and how I would be able to tell ‘them’ that Houman surely became enlightened, at least enough to be able to transmit his soul’s messages to someone who had never met him – in his past incarnation – nor someone who ever even wanted to – consciously, at least – have any contact with anyone ‘from the great beyond.’ That ‘being’ was/is ME.

How corny it all sounds now…funny, even…but, again, there is NOTHING funny about any of it…

SACRED. That is what ‘it all is.’

You dear reader, me, Houman, Teresa, Sasia, Alesia, Grigor, Babak, “B,” etc…. the entire unfolding, SACRED, and I still feel as if my jaw is recovering from ‘having dropped’ with awe that IT’S ALL BEEN VERY, VERY REAL.

Paradox…. All seems to be paradoxical.

We live in a dream, but we don’t, because we have free will in this dream.

We like to think we know all there is to know, but we can’t, because we are but only one piece of the whole.

We, like little children, get to know ONLY the following:

We are DEEPLY LOVED by that from which we came, but most of us forget this… and, we get to love one another as brothers and sisters…because we all came from THAT…in fact, WE MUST love in order to truly live on… each soul responsible for its own destiny, yet  it is also true that we are bound by the ‘all for one and one for all’ code of ethics…

We are separate, yet we are one. Even as I type all of that, I know that I only really know what I know and what I have been allowed to know… I live what I have chosen to live, and I will live what I continue to choose… and none of it is perfect, for without our perfect imperfection there is no  arena in which to Love.

We are mostly blind, yet some are given the gift of sight… knowing that no matter how much ‘evidence’ one can purport to have, there will always be those who are too afraid to see, or trust what another has seen to be the truth of this, because their egos hold them in prisons.

Before I came back to this blog, I asked Grigor, “B”, and Babak to consider notarization that Houman did, indeed, tell them (in Babak’s case, it was through a friend) …that Houman told them he intended to leave energy behind in that little yellow cottage along The Hamakua Coast, ‘for someone who would be coming to live there.’

Thank you, Grigor, for having whole-heartedly having said “Yes!” immediately.

Thank you, Babak, for at least having thought about it.

Babak ended up telling me, “It was not how Houman operated,” although he fully admitted to me that a friend HAD communicated to him (not B, nor Grigor, nor anyone they had spoken with about it) that Houman HAD mentioned that he had been working on trying to leave energy behind in the cottage for someone…

And, “B” …Well, she chose to remain anonymous…at first, I thought it was sad…but, now I think it simply is what she needed to choose…she likes to be private, and I respect that. I am headed that way myself…I used to have contact info on here, but have come back to eliminate all traces…because I finally got that most people wouldn’t believe this stuff if I had all three people in front of them hooked up to lie detectors…

I REALLY accept that now… even though many I have told off-line are grateful to hear about my experiences, but they are all people who either already believe in life after death or needed to be consoled…

I recall how militantly agnostic I used to be…not even able to believe in my own NDE…but, then Houman happened…and the three witnesses… I understand now that it was all meant for me, and those witnesses, and a few others who have already found this blog and contacted me…So, it is okay to have taken away my contact info.

So, I never got any notarizations, because only Grigor would agree to it…and I thought that one was not sufficient.

What I came to realize, though, is this: only some of us get to have these experiences…a few, like me, have them even if they never wanted to…I sure didn’t… until recently, I felt burdened by all of this…not sure what I was ‘ultimately’ supposed to do with this….now, I am at peace…I know I did what I was supposed to…and the rest of the impact is meant for my life… the people who were supposed to be helped or affected by my accounting have been…and I sense Houman is at complete peace with this now…

Grace came to me, and I was only a servant.  I continue to be a servant to The Divine, and live out my life as a seedling of God, exactly what Houman told me we all are…It hasn’t been easy…it’s been very difficult at times, but it is getting easier…because I keep coming back to the simplicity of his messages to me…

Underneath it all, underneath these veils we wear….we all are loved fully, by that from which we came (God)…. and we are here to learn about love…like children with perfect parents…

Even I, with Spirit Guide now, have SO many moments of learning still…I know there is still SO much for me to learn about…and I am so happy to be learning in this new realm. So many things I felt, I no longer feel…layers of fear drop away…and I am finding the truth… LOVE REALLY IS ALL YOU NEED…beginning with SELF-LOVE…

I am a toddler… finding how to walk… thank you Houman for helping me. I also want to thank “B” and “Babak” for their own choices… for following their hearts…for listening for Love as they need it, know it…

It’s funny… some people make movies out of things like this, because they are able. I am happy that I got to write this blog, that I touched a few souls, souls who needed to ‘hear from Houman’ via me… soft smile…

Jonas Elrod comes to mind. If you are unfamiliar with his accounting, I suggest you watch the Documentary entitled, “Wake Up.”  He, too, was ‘a happy agnostic,’ who found himself one day having visions and hearing spirits… I believe, somewhere in the film, someone he consults says that many like he and I are ‘being woken.’

It was a HUGE relief to me to watch the film, to know that these types of things have happened to others… those previously non-spiritual and non-religious.

OK…so, I got ‘that stuff’ out….

So…what is left to share with ‘you?’

Well… just a few tidbits…


If you recall, during my first post (Part I, I believe), I told you that “B” told me she sensed the presence of someone, and that was the only reason I even told her about my experiencing Houman…  she said the name “Mary” was coming to her. What she didn’t know was that I am the only child of six that my parents named fully after anyone… and, the person I was named after was my mother’s favorite nun, Sister Mary Regina.  My father, upon hearing what happened to me, and I too, believe the Mary she sensed that day was Sister Mary Regina, someone my mother wrote to until the nun ‘retired.’ My mother is 100% Irish Catholic. I spoke with  my Mom this morning! She lovingly recalled the Sister, saying how Sister Mary Regina was the only ‘non-yeller’ and such a good person.

So, it seems Sister Mary Regina was there that day to ‘help me’ back to having faith in God, but not faith in religion, because religion is something I will never have faith in…to me, it is SO personal… I am very happy, also, that I was able to help my own father believe in God…He had told me when I was young that he was also agnostic, but could never tell my mother that…Words could never describe the joy I have in knowing that because of what I went through and my sharing it with my father, he was eventually able to pass over as a full believer….Perhaps that is the most precious gift to me, actually…Yes, I think so.

About Sister Mary Regina, I look forward to one day knowing her soul better… I have sensed her presence many times, but she doesn’t speak to me in the same way as Houman… it is much more subtle and all-encompassing. More like a cradling…a deep motherly love. I have needed that along this journey!!!

OK…so…what else?

I learned from Grigor that Houman loved to swim, and not only was I on a swim team as a child, but it is my favorite physical activity…Of course, my near-drowning and his actually drowning are obvious connections.


While Dr. Gerald Bausek, aka The Soul Doctor, was here, I spent a day with my sweetheart, Michael, and Gerry and his wife, walking together to where Houman was pulled from the sea, because Gerry wished for me to go there with him to point out the spot…It was my third time there…

During our time together, three very unusual events happened, which all verified further for me the connection I have with Houman is very real. One would think I had been ‘given’ enough ‘proof,’ but please recall…I was HARD CORE AGNOSTIC! I had come to conclude that ALL people who thought they knew anything about God or life after death were nutty or confused about Mother Nature’s programming of us afraid-to-die conscious humans.  So, to have ‘received’ more proof was a good thing in my case…

I will list those three things  for you, that made it ever more clear to me that I had been ‘gifted’ …

1)  After we met up with Gerry and his wife, at The Waikaloa Marriott at Anaeho’ omalu Bay or “A Bay,”  we walked along the ocean to the place of our intent (where Houman was pulled from the sea). While we stopped to take some photos, Gerry shared with me that in his private search for more information about Houman, he ended up talking with a librarian at the Honoka’a Public Library, in hopes that she would know something of Houman, as that was the last town he had lived in.. BIZARRELY….and I do not know why I am still driven to use that word, because nothing phases me anymore, he shared with myself and Michael that he learned that Houman would often come in and ask if there were any new children’s books from India.

What was SO bizarre about this? Well, first, who would think that a man who taught meditation, and with no children, would want to read children’s’ books? Secondly, and here comes the ‘TRULY bizarre’ part… Dr. Bausek (nor anyone but Michael) had no idea that I was struggling with either working on a series of children’s’ books I have had in mind for years, or trying my hand at a screenplay! Michael & I looked at each other and later when we discussed it, I simply said, “Well, now I know which project Houman prefers for me to work on!”  (Please note: never had I even written online anywhere about my wanting to write children’s books.)

2)Sacred White Coral:  As we left the place where Houman was taken from the ocean, we walked back toward the resort, and while still walking along the waterside, I saw a small piece of white coral. Not knowing why, but ‘hearing’ Houman ‘tell me’ to pick it up, I did, and placed it in my right side pocket. We all decided to take the little walkway for tourists that led back to the resort’s building complex, in front of which both Gerry and Michael had parked our cars. This was my first time on the path, and Michael’s, too, as we had only previously gone directly to the ocean’s edge (past the pools and to the ocean sports’ rental area), and then walked to the left to get to the area Houman died at.

We walked a little way along the path, and ‘lo and behold,’ yes…BIZARRELY, what do we come upon?… ‘ancient ruins’ on our right-hand side, ruins that included prominently featured – in front of the remains of an ancient Hawaiian house – a large pile of white coral, each piece meant to represent a past soul of the ancient fishing village that had once flourished there!  I had never even heard of such a thing before!  I knew immediately why Houman ‘told me to pick up the coral.’ Without telling anyone else, I waited until the others moved on, took the coral from my pocket and tossed it onto the pile. Although I knew no one was ‘supposed’ to take away any coral from reading the plaque at the memorial, I had seen no sign saying that one could not add a piece, and so I did. I still wonder to this day if Houman had touched that coral also, and wanted something he had touched to be in a place that no one would disturb, as there was much development going on along the area where he drowned.

I have just now, for the first time, Googled these ruins and found the following, which I share simply to add depth here:

“At the Marriott Waikoloa Beach Resort, historic fish ponds and the ruins of the fish keepers’ stone huts are beautifully kept for their guests to see. These ancient ponds, many of which are still in use, are behind narrow rock walls that separate them from the open sea. The sluice gates, made from woven vines, are just wide enough to let young fish swim in at high tide and prevent bigger fish from swimming out. Built centuries ago to ensure that Hawaii’s royal families would never go hungry on their travels, the ponds were taboo to non- royals, commoners who ate the royal catch were executed.”

and from The Mauna Lani Resort’s site:

“Bottom samples taken from the ponds date the ancient aquaculture system to as far back as 250 BC. Some of the fishponds were created by walling off the pools’ natural access to the ocean. Makaha (sluice gates) were incorporated in the walls to allow for circulation of seawater, essential for maintaining healthy fish. The ponds were used to raise mullet, milkfish, shrimp and other sea life strictly for the consumption of Ali’i. ”

Addendum, added: One more thing to add here, after speaking with a friend: I SHOULD have mentioned that I am NOT someone who goes around picking up stones… the ONLY times in my life when I have ever picked up stones CONSCIOUSLY – for a reason:  One time was along the California coast in April 2011, when Michael and I gathered some for our meditation garden and once more I picked up a heart-shaped green stone from “The Green Sand Beach” here on island…it is not illegal to do so, as long as you do not take them off island, otherwise I wouldn’t have done so.  Just wanted to add that info in, so my readers know what I meant by ‘Sacred white coral.’   SACRED, because I ‘heard Houman’ tell me to pick up the little piece of white coral (as usual, without a voice or words…just knowledge being transmitted…no other way to explain that), and also sacred because he knew I would be discovering that memorial…

Here is the white coral at the shrine…where I tossed the little piece Houman ‘told me’ to pick up ~

3) Naupaka Flowers

SO…wouldn’t you know it?   We all continue along the tourist path, and THE ONLY flowers noted (with information plaque included!) happened to be Naupaka Flowers… Guess what? We JUST SO HAPPEN to live on “Naupaka Street.”  What does one say to that? NO KIDDING!?  Ok…

“No kidding!!!!!!”

Wow… sometimes I try to look at all that has happened to me from ‘my old unwoken mind,’ and I simply cannot believe my own reality… which probably explains why none of my siblings have yet to say “WOW!” to me about any of this… I seriously wonder if they now think…yep…what I USED TO THINK about others like me ‘now’ …”she’s ‘off her rocker'”… and, I even have a seriously Catholic brother…who has believed things I thought were coo-coo since I was 15…

UPDATE: He recently warned me about dabbling in the occult…I reassured him that I do not ever seek out any of this…it just all came, comes…I imagine he may re-read this one day… perhaps if I pass over first? If so…please know…nothing ‘occult’ exists… only GOD… all of the rest is a veil, and part of the school we live in here…

There is sadness for me in knowing that he will never be close to me again…he, in his extreme Catholicism, is afraid for me, I understand…I hope that if he does read this, he will know that I was afraid, too… it was scary… but, nothing ever came with fear…not even when I saw ‘beings of light’ when I had my NDE, even though I knew they were all-loving…so, I realized any fear I had felt after the fact was pre-programmed…and, so, not real…I hope he can learn to let go of that type of fear, too…. mine is falling away fast… thank God!

OK….so, there you have ‘the rest’ of what I am choosing to write about…I’ve decided to not write about anything else that may happen…because I get it…this blog served its purpose…it reached those who needed it, and it helped me tell the truth of what happened to me…by my being totally upfront and sharing the URL with friends and family, I benefitted more than I could have known…I learned to love myself through this…to accept myself…YES, this DID happen to ME…and I am not ashamed to tell any new friend…because not only have I survived near-death (a few times) but, I have also survived telling those I love what happened…for my own self-love, this was vitally important…I finally understand that aspect of this…

but. also like so many others who have had similar experiences, I have come to accept that not everyone can accept this stuff… it either threatens their religious beliefs or their own agnosticism or atheism…so, I FULLY get it…

…why should I expect anyone to believe me? Michael does, of course…Grigor does…”B” does…Babak does…Dr. Gerald Bausek and his lovely wife both do…and Alesia, Teresa, and some others who have written to me, but prefer to remain unnamed…

So, I think… why did I even bother to write this?

Simple answer…because God’s Grace blessed me, and it was SO unexpected, I felt the ‘calling’ to share about it all~

   OK…I think I have now covered the rest of what I wanted to share….also what Houman wanted me to share ~

I will leave all of this in cyberspace now, and hope that more people who knew Houman will come across this blog and learn what he was able to do…post death… or perhaps some who read his book (which I myself have yet to fully read…only because he tells me I don’t need to…but I have it and I will, some day)…

I hope those people will know that Houman’s soul still IS an integral part of the heart of Love… as are all of our souls, for ALL TIME….and that all that matters is focusing on growing more LOVE~

Stay OPEN-HEARTED, no matter what. I’m sure glad I did.

Namaste ….AND God bless you!

Mary Regina ~


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