paranormal, souls, near death experiences

Posts tagged ‘Houman E Emami’

One looong Almost-LAST post.

I shot this pic at the sacred shrine…That is the tourist plaque and that is my shadow on it, taken before I tossed the little piece of white coral onto the pile…

~ ~ ~  Edited on 5/21/2012Well…it’s time for me to wrap up my accounting of what I have “Thus Far” experienced of, and received from, the heart of the soul of a man previously known as “Houman E Emami” ~  Yes, kinda like ‘the artist previously known as Prince,’ except Prince is still alive, and took his name back 😉

Ah…comic relief, always something I have enjoyed tremendously.

Still… this blog has not been about anything ‘all that funny,’ has it?   It’s been about Life…the why’s, the what the Hell happened to me’s?, the OMG’s (Oh, My God!’s), and the acceptance of a completely different understanding of Life and Love, including a once-thought-by-me-to-be-impossible-by-all understanding of God and Souls.

It’s even been about other people’s encounters with Houman, during their present incarnations…something I never even thought about when I came back to leave my experiences in cyberspace…I only ever REALLY thought that someone might wonder about the co-author of the book, “Enlightenment Beyond Traditions,” and how I would be able to tell ‘them’ that Houman surely became enlightened, at least enough to be able to transmit his soul’s messages to someone who had never met him – in his past incarnation – nor someone who ever even wanted to – consciously, at least – have any contact with anyone ‘from the great beyond.’ That ‘being’ was/is ME.

How corny it all sounds now…funny, even…but, again, there is NOTHING funny about any of it…

SACRED. That is what ‘it all is.’

You dear reader, me, Houman, Teresa, Sasia, Alesia, Grigor, Babak, “B,” etc…. the entire unfolding, SACRED, and I still feel as if my jaw is recovering from ‘having dropped’ with awe that IT’S ALL BEEN VERY, VERY REAL.

Paradox…. All seems to be paradoxical.

We live in a dream, but we don’t, because we have free will in this dream.

We like to think we know all there is to know, but we can’t, because we are but only one piece of the whole.

We, like little children, get to know ONLY the following:

We are DEEPLY LOVED by that from which we came, but most of us forget this… and, we get to love one another as brothers and sisters…because we all came from THAT…in fact, WE MUST love in order to truly live on… each soul responsible for its own destiny, yet  it is also true that we are bound by the ‘all for one and one for all’ code of ethics…

We are separate, yet we are one. Even as I type all of that, I know that I only really know what I know and what I have been allowed to know… I live what I have chosen to live, and I will live what I continue to choose… and none of it is perfect, for without our perfect imperfection there is no  arena in which to Love.

We are mostly blind, yet some are given the gift of sight… knowing that no matter how much ‘evidence’ one can purport to have, there will always be those who are too afraid to see, or trust what another has seen to be the truth of this, because their egos hold them in prisons.

Before I came back to this blog, I asked Grigor, “B”, and Babak to consider notarization that Houman did, indeed, tell them (in Babak’s case, it was through a friend) …that Houman told them he intended to leave energy behind in that little yellow cottage along The Hamakua Coast, ‘for someone who would be coming to live there.’

Thank you, Grigor, for having whole-heartedly having said “Yes!” immediately.

Thank you, Babak, for at least having thought about it.

Babak ended up telling me, “It was not how Houman operated,” although he fully admitted to me that a friend HAD communicated to him (not B, nor Grigor, nor anyone they had spoken with about it) that Houman HAD mentioned that he had been working on trying to leave energy behind in the cottage for someone…

And, “B” …Well, she chose to remain anonymous…at first, I thought it was sad…but, now I think it simply is what she needed to choose…she likes to be private, and I respect that. I am headed that way myself…I used to have contact info on here, but have come back to eliminate all traces…because I finally got that most people wouldn’t believe this stuff if I had all three people in front of them hooked up to lie detectors…

I REALLY accept that now… even though many I have told off-line are grateful to hear about my experiences, but they are all people who either already believe in life after death or needed to be consoled…

I recall how militantly agnostic I used to be…not even able to believe in my own NDE…but, then Houman happened…and the three witnesses… I understand now that it was all meant for me, and those witnesses, and a few others who have already found this blog and contacted me…So, it is okay to have taken away my contact info.

So, I never got any notarizations, because only Grigor would agree to it…and I thought that one was not sufficient.

What I came to realize, though, is this: only some of us get to have these experiences…a few, like me, have them even if they never wanted to…I sure didn’t… until recently, I felt burdened by all of this…not sure what I was ‘ultimately’ supposed to do with this….now, I am at peace…I know I did what I was supposed to…and the rest of the impact is meant for my life… the people who were supposed to be helped or affected by my accounting have been…and I sense Houman is at complete peace with this now…

Grace came to me, and I was only a servant.  I continue to be a servant to The Divine, and live out my life as a seedling of God, exactly what Houman told me we all are…It hasn’t been easy…it’s been very difficult at times, but it is getting easier…because I keep coming back to the simplicity of his messages to me…

Underneath it all, underneath these veils we wear….we all are loved fully, by that from which we came (God)…. and we are here to learn about love…like children with perfect parents…

Even I, with Spirit Guide now, have SO many moments of learning still…I know there is still SO much for me to learn about…and I am so happy to be learning in this new realm. So many things I felt, I no longer feel…layers of fear drop away…and I am finding the truth… LOVE REALLY IS ALL YOU NEED…beginning with SELF-LOVE…

I am a toddler… finding how to walk… thank you Houman for helping me. I also want to thank “B” and “Babak” for their own choices… for following their hearts…for listening for Love as they need it, know it…

It’s funny… some people make movies out of things like this, because they are able. I am happy that I got to write this blog, that I touched a few souls, souls who needed to ‘hear from Houman’ via me… soft smile…

Jonas Elrod comes to mind. If you are unfamiliar with his accounting, I suggest you watch the Documentary entitled, “Wake Up.”  He, too, was ‘a happy agnostic,’ who found himself one day having visions and hearing spirits… I believe, somewhere in the film, someone he consults says that many like he and I are ‘being woken.’

It was a HUGE relief to me to watch the film, to know that these types of things have happened to others… those previously non-spiritual and non-religious.

OK…so, I got ‘that stuff’ out….

So…what is left to share with ‘you?’

Well… just a few tidbits…


If you recall, during my first post (Part I, I believe), I told you that “B” told me she sensed the presence of someone, and that was the only reason I even told her about my experiencing Houman…  she said the name “Mary” was coming to her. What she didn’t know was that I am the only child of six that my parents named fully after anyone… and, the person I was named after was my mother’s favorite nun, Sister Mary Regina.  My father, upon hearing what happened to me, and I too, believe the Mary she sensed that day was Sister Mary Regina, someone my mother wrote to until the nun ‘retired.’ My mother is 100% Irish Catholic. I spoke with  my Mom this morning! She lovingly recalled the Sister, saying how Sister Mary Regina was the only ‘non-yeller’ and such a good person.

So, it seems Sister Mary Regina was there that day to ‘help me’ back to having faith in God, but not faith in religion, because religion is something I will never have faith in…to me, it is SO personal… I am very happy, also, that I was able to help my own father believe in God…He had told me when I was young that he was also agnostic, but could never tell my mother that…Words could never describe the joy I have in knowing that because of what I went through and my sharing it with my father, he was eventually able to pass over as a full believer….Perhaps that is the most precious gift to me, actually…Yes, I think so.

About Sister Mary Regina, I look forward to one day knowing her soul better… I have sensed her presence many times, but she doesn’t speak to me in the same way as Houman… it is much more subtle and all-encompassing. More like a cradling…a deep motherly love. I have needed that along this journey!!!

OK…so…what else?

I learned from Grigor that Houman loved to swim, and not only was I on a swim team as a child, but it is my favorite physical activity…Of course, my near-drowning and his actually drowning are obvious connections.


While Dr. Gerald Bausek, aka The Soul Doctor, was here, I spent a day with my sweetheart, Michael, and Gerry and his wife, walking together to where Houman was pulled from the sea, because Gerry wished for me to go there with him to point out the spot…It was my third time there…

During our time together, three very unusual events happened, which all verified further for me the connection I have with Houman is very real. One would think I had been ‘given’ enough ‘proof,’ but please recall…I was HARD CORE AGNOSTIC! I had come to conclude that ALL people who thought they knew anything about God or life after death were nutty or confused about Mother Nature’s programming of us afraid-to-die conscious humans.  So, to have ‘received’ more proof was a good thing in my case…

I will list those three things  for you, that made it ever more clear to me that I had been ‘gifted’ …

1)  After we met up with Gerry and his wife, at The Waikaloa Marriott at Anaeho’ omalu Bay or “A Bay,”  we walked along the ocean to the place of our intent (where Houman was pulled from the sea). While we stopped to take some photos, Gerry shared with me that in his private search for more information about Houman, he ended up talking with a librarian at the Honoka’a Public Library, in hopes that she would know something of Houman, as that was the last town he had lived in.. BIZARRELY….and I do not know why I am still driven to use that word, because nothing phases me anymore, he shared with myself and Michael that he learned that Houman would often come in and ask if there were any new children’s books from India.

What was SO bizarre about this? Well, first, who would think that a man who taught meditation, and with no children, would want to read children’s’ books? Secondly, and here comes the ‘TRULY bizarre’ part… Dr. Bausek (nor anyone but Michael) had no idea that I was struggling with either working on a series of children’s’ books I have had in mind for years, or trying my hand at a screenplay! Michael & I looked at each other and later when we discussed it, I simply said, “Well, now I know which project Houman prefers for me to work on!”  (Please note: never had I even written online anywhere about my wanting to write children’s books.)

2)Sacred White Coral:  As we left the place where Houman was taken from the ocean, we walked back toward the resort, and while still walking along the waterside, I saw a small piece of white coral. Not knowing why, but ‘hearing’ Houman ‘tell me’ to pick it up, I did, and placed it in my right side pocket. We all decided to take the little walkway for tourists that led back to the resort’s building complex, in front of which both Gerry and Michael had parked our cars. This was my first time on the path, and Michael’s, too, as we had only previously gone directly to the ocean’s edge (past the pools and to the ocean sports’ rental area), and then walked to the left to get to the area Houman died at.

We walked a little way along the path, and ‘lo and behold,’ yes…BIZARRELY, what do we come upon?… ‘ancient ruins’ on our right-hand side, ruins that included prominently featured – in front of the remains of an ancient Hawaiian house – a large pile of white coral, each piece meant to represent a past soul of the ancient fishing village that had once flourished there!  I had never even heard of such a thing before!  I knew immediately why Houman ‘told me to pick up the coral.’ Without telling anyone else, I waited until the others moved on, took the coral from my pocket and tossed it onto the pile. Although I knew no one was ‘supposed’ to take away any coral from reading the plaque at the memorial, I had seen no sign saying that one could not add a piece, and so I did. I still wonder to this day if Houman had touched that coral also, and wanted something he had touched to be in a place that no one would disturb, as there was much development going on along the area where he drowned.

I have just now, for the first time, Googled these ruins and found the following, which I share simply to add depth here:

“At the Marriott Waikoloa Beach Resort, historic fish ponds and the ruins of the fish keepers’ stone huts are beautifully kept for their guests to see. These ancient ponds, many of which are still in use, are behind narrow rock walls that separate them from the open sea. The sluice gates, made from woven vines, are just wide enough to let young fish swim in at high tide and prevent bigger fish from swimming out. Built centuries ago to ensure that Hawaii’s royal families would never go hungry on their travels, the ponds were taboo to non- royals, commoners who ate the royal catch were executed.”

and from The Mauna Lani Resort’s site:

“Bottom samples taken from the ponds date the ancient aquaculture system to as far back as 250 BC. Some of the fishponds were created by walling off the pools’ natural access to the ocean. Makaha (sluice gates) were incorporated in the walls to allow for circulation of seawater, essential for maintaining healthy fish. The ponds were used to raise mullet, milkfish, shrimp and other sea life strictly for the consumption of Ali’i. ”

Addendum, added: One more thing to add here, after speaking with a friend: I SHOULD have mentioned that I am NOT someone who goes around picking up stones… the ONLY times in my life when I have ever picked up stones CONSCIOUSLY – for a reason:  One time was along the California coast in April 2011, when Michael and I gathered some for our meditation garden and once more I picked up a heart-shaped green stone from “The Green Sand Beach” here on island…it is not illegal to do so, as long as you do not take them off island, otherwise I wouldn’t have done so.  Just wanted to add that info in, so my readers know what I meant by ‘Sacred white coral.’   SACRED, because I ‘heard Houman’ tell me to pick up the little piece of white coral (as usual, without a voice or words…just knowledge being transmitted…no other way to explain that), and also sacred because he knew I would be discovering that memorial…

Here is the white coral at the shrine…where I tossed the little piece Houman ‘told me’ to pick up ~

3) Naupaka Flowers

SO…wouldn’t you know it?   We all continue along the tourist path, and THE ONLY flowers noted (with information plaque included!) happened to be Naupaka Flowers… Guess what? We JUST SO HAPPEN to live on “Naupaka Street.”  What does one say to that? NO KIDDING!?  Ok…

“No kidding!!!!!!”

Wow… sometimes I try to look at all that has happened to me from ‘my old unwoken mind,’ and I simply cannot believe my own reality… which probably explains why none of my siblings have yet to say “WOW!” to me about any of this… I seriously wonder if they now think…yep…what I USED TO THINK about others like me ‘now’ …”she’s ‘off her rocker'”… and, I even have a seriously Catholic brother…who has believed things I thought were coo-coo since I was 15…

UPDATE: He recently warned me about dabbling in the occult…I reassured him that I do not ever seek out any of this…it just all came, comes…I imagine he may re-read this one day… perhaps if I pass over first? If so…please know…nothing ‘occult’ exists… only GOD… all of the rest is a veil, and part of the school we live in here…

There is sadness for me in knowing that he will never be close to me again…he, in his extreme Catholicism, is afraid for me, I understand…I hope that if he does read this, he will know that I was afraid, too… it was scary… but, nothing ever came with fear…not even when I saw ‘beings of light’ when I had my NDE, even though I knew they were all-loving…so, I realized any fear I had felt after the fact was pre-programmed…and, so, not real…I hope he can learn to let go of that type of fear, too…. mine is falling away fast… thank God!

OK….so, there you have ‘the rest’ of what I am choosing to write about…I’ve decided to not write about anything else that may happen…because I get it…this blog served its purpose…it reached those who needed it, and it helped me tell the truth of what happened to me…by my being totally upfront and sharing the URL with friends and family, I benefitted more than I could have known…I learned to love myself through this…to accept myself…YES, this DID happen to ME…and I am not ashamed to tell any new friend…because not only have I survived near-death (a few times) but, I have also survived telling those I love what happened…for my own self-love, this was vitally important…I finally understand that aspect of this…

but. also like so many others who have had similar experiences, I have come to accept that not everyone can accept this stuff… it either threatens their religious beliefs or their own agnosticism or atheism…so, I FULLY get it…

…why should I expect anyone to believe me? Michael does, of course…Grigor does…”B” does…Babak does…Dr. Gerald Bausek and his lovely wife both do…and Alesia, Teresa, and some others who have written to me, but prefer to remain unnamed…

So, I think… why did I even bother to write this?

Simple answer…because God’s Grace blessed me, and it was SO unexpected, I felt the ‘calling’ to share about it all~

   OK…I think I have now covered the rest of what I wanted to share….also what Houman wanted me to share ~

I will leave all of this in cyberspace now, and hope that more people who knew Houman will come across this blog and learn what he was able to do…post death… or perhaps some who read his book (which I myself have yet to fully read…only because he tells me I don’t need to…but I have it and I will, some day)…

I hope those people will know that Houman’s soul still IS an integral part of the heart of Love… as are all of our souls, for ALL TIME….and that all that matters is focusing on growing more LOVE~

Stay OPEN-HEARTED, no matter what. I’m sure glad I did.

Namaste ….AND God bless you!

Mary Regina ~


Houman being remembered by his Japanese followers.

Houman being remembered by his Japanese followers.

I just had to share this photo I came across of Houman…

…Christ-like image… Alesia referred to him as Christ-like.

I must also share that I have seen the film, “The God that Wasn’t There,” and have concluded that perhaps Christ was truly only a myth, as I always thought, or perhaps a soul in Heaven like St. Paul believed… perhaps ‘he’ also made ‘appearances’… In any case, Houman did look very ‘spiritual.’ Grigor told me after all of this began that people who saw Houman on the street would come up to him and ask him if he was a spiritual teacher. Also, he apparently wore white shirts and black pants often…

These are things, like most everything I know about him, that I have only come to know since the first ‘encounter.’

Part I of Houman E Emami: From man to Spirit Guide (and, Mary Regina ~ from soft atheist to full believer)

Hello all…Aloha from The Big Island of Hawai’i.

PREFACE: I wasn’t sure how to title this note – I know I want it to be public, and searchable, so I had to put in Houman’s full name, although to this day, I do not know what middle name E is an initial for. I will have to call up his brother.

INTRO: Well… here is ‘my story.’ ALL REAL.  My ‘account.’ is perhaps a better phrase, in that respect.

I am now middle-aged.

At age 15, I left the Catholic Church…I literally walked out and told my parents and five siblings, “I’ll meet you in the car.” Now…coming from a family that NEVER missed Sunday mass, with a mother who is 100% Irish Catholic, this was a serious offense in my family of origin.  Every Sunday, thereafter, for what seemed like a year, my father would say to me,” Mary Regina, are you coming with us?” I would say, “No, Dad.” He would then proceed to tell me how unhappy my mother was about that, and I would say that I couldn’t change that.

Time went by…

Around age 41, I had an NDE – near death experience. A reaction to a muscle-relaxant medication I had told my doctor that I wasn’t tolerating well. He said, “just cut it in half.”  Well…it has been my only trip in an ambulance, to date.

That night, I had an experience of a tunnel and two beings of light.  In fact, I saw through a brick fireplace – it disappeared – beyond it, there were the beings of light…they were not frightening…in fact, I knew they were loving…I also, however, ‘knew’ that if I did not crawl to the phone I would ‘be over there with them.’

Having a loyal dog and two cute cats to look after, and a husband who was away on business and whom I knew didn’t give a hoot for any of them, I crawled to the phone in the bedroom, and got out the word “Oxygen.”  Paramedics arrived, gave me some oxygen and on my way down the brick stairs to the curb, I began to pass out… I barely recall being placed on the stretcher…I woke in the ER, being told to never take that medicine again – which is one reason I now wear a Medic Alert bracelet.


Beings of light?

One WOULD think that I would have had even the tiniest of thought of maybe it was real?

Nah…I bought into the Psych theory that Mother Nature had all of us conscious-of-death humans programmed for such experiences, EVEN THOUGH I had been told about an out of body NDE of a grad school friend…a man who learned when he very young that he was allergic to shellfish.  He told me back then that he didn’t tell anyone when he was little because he didn’t know it was ‘abnormal.’ I believed him…but, I didn’t believe me…

OK…so, I DID tell a few people ‘I had an NDE,”  but I never believed there ever really were any beings of light ‘there.’  You see, I had myself FULLY convinced that humanity was better off without:


That’s right!  I had decided that getting rid of all of that stuff, OR convincing EVERYONE, in time, that ALL WE REALLY KNOW – or can ever know – FOR CERTAIN – was:

1) We are alive.

2) Love is good.

3) War is bad.

so…best and only acceptable religion: “Make love, not war”

PLUS, I thought that if people believe in some ‘all-forgiving God,’ ‘THEY’ can ‘get away with anything,’ and that cannot be good.

So… looking back, I was very self-righteous, worse than some ‘believers’ I knew, actually, but I thought I was ‘right,’ in terms of what was best for ‘the-world-at-large.’

So…I went right on with my life…being 100% agnostic, and eventually telling myself that EVERYONE ELSE on earth was also, only some of us could muster up the courage of ‘accepting that we will die,’ without ‘needing’ a fairy-tale to make us feel better… and, yes, of course, I was one of those self-anointed courageous humans, who would help others realize that we all need to just be good, because it’s what we should be choosing to be, with or without ‘eternal life’ in the offing.

That is… until March 24th, 2010, when I was woken up by my spirit guide, Houman E Emami.

And here is the beginning of my accounting:

March 21, 2010: I almost drowned at Kehena Beach, in the Puna District on the Big Island, a black sand beach with no lifeguards and a long history of many drownings (which I learned after the fact). At the time I lived in a cottage in Ninole, on an 87 acre lycee farm.

It was my first time there…I only stopped by to cool off…Another woman was saved that day, too… truly treacherous 10-foot tall waves crushed me over and over and dragged me back under…it’s a miracle that anyone even attempted to save me…by the time I got out, I had black sand embedded in my hands, knees and feet from my having tried to save myself before I lost the strength to keep trying.

[5/7/12: Here is my prior accounting of that experience, which I have just found in a draft I had saved:

It all began when I almost drowned a little over one month ago today – March 21st.

It happened at Kehena Beach, a popular-on-Sunday- to-‘drummers’  black sand beach about 60 mins from where I live. My companion and I stopped only for a ”quick dip,” to freshen up, after a long drive through the nearby countryside.  Little did we know that the undertow was notoriously dangerous,  and we did not take the time to really look at what was going on in the water – if we had, we’d have seen that all swimmers were back behind the waves, waiting for a set of thunderous waves to pass, before returning into the surf…

With the 3rd or 4th wave I tried to walk through I was swept away into a washing machine-like cycle…and with each passing pounding, I began to lose my breath…

I went down and got spit back out about a half-dozen times…after the first two cycles, I knew I would probably not be able to break through on my own, as once I was pushed onto the surf, I immediately got dragged back into the violence by the pull of the wave’s water returning to its home. So, I called pleadingly to a tall, strong man I saw standing right along the shoreline… he was looking right at me when I called out.

I said with every ounce of humanity in me, “Help me!  I need help!”

He, to what still feels like my eternal dismay, in a very purposeful slow and sad manner, shook his head back and forth to tell me ‘no,’  as if he could not risk it.

I ever so fleetingly felt sorry for his soul, even though I was an agnostic at the time,  and realized I was on my own…

I ‘believed’ my only hope was a rescue, but had no idea how the non-existent lifeguards were going to get to the remote cove and save me. I thought it then ‘only’ a matter of trying my best to stay alive.  I gulped as much air as I could before the next cycle began.  With each cycle, I lost the ability to keep my breath in as long as I had with the previous pounding, and recall gulping water two separate times.

My last time down, as I waited to learn if I would actually surface before I could no longer suppress the instinct to breath, I thought that I might never come back up…

I did not allow that thought to frighten me, as I knew it would only make it all worse.  Also, I had previously needed the Heimlich Maneuver – really –  I recalled how , when I was choking, it had felt to me like what it must feel like to drown.  I told myself that it wasn’t such a horrible feeling and that if I did drown, I would do so without fear or sadness, and probably pass out first anyway.  So, I waited on my fate, while still holding my nose closed with one hand after my last breath, taking another beating and again ‘simply’ allowing my body to try to find its way up… I KNEW that if I tried to find my way ‘up,’ I very well could swim to my death, as I had lost all sense of up…

When I did finally float back to the surface after the last time under, I had either briefly lost consciousness, or my previously unbeknownst-to-me brave rescuers reached me at the same moment in time I resurfaced and could hardly believe that I was able to breathe again.  In any case, there were THREE normal-sized adults in front of me, two men and one woman…one of the men had a boogie board, and the woman was telling me they were all there to help me.

At that point, as happy as I was to see potential rescuers, I really believed that there were now FOUR of us facing what seemed to be an impossible-to break-through undertow…so, I said, “How are YOU going to save ME?”   I was thinking that they now needed to worry about saving themselves, as they had come out, but also now needed to get back to shore. They said that they would save me, and then immediately wanted me to hold onto the board and go directly back into the surf…I told them I could hardly breathe and needed a minute to catch my breath…

They took me behind the next wave before it was able to crush any of us… I cannot even explain the comfort I then found in the water…like moving from night into day. I caught what I could of my disappearing ability to breathe, then instinctively asked if I should get on top to the board, and if it would help if I kicked…they said yes, and I did…and with one free hand, I also swooped salt water behind me…as we all swiftly moved into position

They got me set up right atop a huge wave, and told me to try to ride it in… I tried, got pretty far, but not far enough, as I ended up behind its force…I thought, sadly, I might not make it after all they had risked… and then a hand reached out to me, the man attached to it shouted at me ” Grab my hand, and I was pulled onto shore… I never saw the face…

I staggered toward my companion, who had also had trouble getting back out, but successfully did on his own (due to his being strong and only age 40 (I was 52)).  I distinctly recall feeling embarrassed about it all as I tried to breathe.  After I reached him, I stood stoically, looking at the ocean that nearly consumed me…while still trying to regain my breath, and I saw another woman being rescued…

She was quite Amazonian-like, seriously… Young, taller (I am 5′ 8″), and she was very well-muscled…and to top it off, nude (yes, it was the clothing-optional beach! My first time to it, but I had stayed in my swim suit! It struck me as odd that she was obviously distraught, yet had been courageous enough to be naked…As she was also given that last helping hand, her distress grew more evident.  She hurried away from her also ‘almost end’,  sat down on a boogie board near shore and began to sob.  Immediately, a tall man in swim trunks came and sat behind her and enveloped her with his arms and legs…

I felt jealous…yes…for not having someone there to do that for me, too…and, wondered if everyone thought that perhaps I was a bit too subdued emotionally, given that I was older and not as strong physically…I told myself that it had not been the first time I had faced death, and that that might be why.  I was to find out, though, that I had ‘simply’ been able to stay calm through it, as I experienced waves of tears that evening and over the next days.

OK…so back to this post…

March 24, 2010: I had my first appointment with a new ‘bodyworker’ – first initial will be given only, as she doesn’t want publicity – she leads a very spiritual life – which I used to think was just her being ‘a bit off her rocker,’ but still nice.  I arrive and tell her,” B,” for Bodyworker….this is really good timing, because I almost drowned 3 days ago, and I hoped to go to my favorite beach after the massage, to help get me back into the Ocean.

She gets to work, and I get to use the 90 minute gift certificate her friend my landlord, Grigor Fedan, had given to me for Valentine’s Day, as a lovely friendship gift. (He is ok with my using his name here.)

The massage and cranial-sacral stuff she is doing is making me feel SO relaxed…

I sense that it is probably almost 90 mins, when I “FEEL” the presence of a man I had never met, but whom I had been told before moving into my rental cottage some 6 months earlier had taught meditation there, and that he had drowned 2 years after moving out of the cottage. I knew that she had known him…but I didn’t know how well she knew him…


I “RE-LIVE” his drowning…but I feel happy…I “SEE” through his eyes…the water above, and I know he is happy about it…He ‘TELLS” me – without words – that is was suicide. He asks me – without words – that I tell her that he is ‘alive and well, on a different dimension, and that he loves her’ (I didn’t get the impression that it was romantic love.)

I think to myself: Isn’t it interesting the things our minds can conjure-up 3 days post near-drowning. EVEN THOUGH IT FELT AS REAL AS TYPING THIS RIGHT NOW DOES, I wasn’t going to share ANY of it with her, even though I knew she was – like my landlord – ‘a Yogananda devotee’ –  someone I thought was nuts, but in a nice way…  I didn’t even know if  ‘they believed in such things,’ or if she’d think I was nuts, and I simply thought “I must be making this up, to somehow feel better about almost drowning,”, so my thought was to keep ‘it’ to myself, get dressed and politely give her the certificate and a tip as I left.

THEN…She (B) says, after not saying anything to me the entire 90 mins: “Gina, do you mind if I tell you something?” (Gina is my nickname). I said, “No, what?” ~ thinking she would say something like: “You take a massage well,” as the last masseuse I had seen – about 5 months earlier had told me…or, maybe she would invite me to lunch, as I had met her previously via my landlord…I had attended a kirtan at a beach with him which she also attended  and a party she had played guitar at…but, we had never had extensive conversation…I did know that she had also known Houman, but even so…I was NOT going to sound nuts, and I had my mind/ego made up about that! So, I wasn’t going to share my unusual experience that was happening RIGHT THEN…

WELL….she said this:

“I sense the presence of someone. The name Mary is coming to me.”  She went on to say that since she had learned that I had been an ex-Catholic (AND she knew I didn’t believe in anything, that I was agnostic), that perhaps it was “THE” Mary…mother of Christ…

I thought that was nutty, because I do not believe in virgin births… I should add here that later I realized she did not know that my given name was Mary Regina… and that I was named after my mother’s favorite nun from her high school years in Philadelphia.

So…I thought…what the hell? If SHE is also feeling the presence of someone, she certainly won’t think I am nuts now, so I told her that I had something to share with her…

I said: “Houman is here” – I still felt him to my upper right (at the time not knowing that that is a very common ‘place’ for ‘psychic’ experience of spirits to occur). I shared that he wanted me to tell her that ‘he is ok and happy and on another dimension and that he loved her.’   I didn’t know what to make of ‘being told by him that he had committed suicide,’ because all I had ever heard was he drowned. so I didn’t share that with her on that day.

She immediately cried a bit and thanked me very authentically.

Then, she told me that Houman, before he moved out of the cottage I was then renting, told her that ‘he was leaving some of his energy behind for someone who would be coming to live there.’


Well… I was ‘unnerved’ to put it simply…VERY UNNERVED.  It was hard for me to get myself calmly into her bathroom  to change…

I remember that I told her that I was ‘the last person on Earth who needed anything like that to happen to me, or to hear what she told me!’

She was sweet, but not at all unnerved…something I came, in time, to find not at all uncommon among Yogananda devotees, and all other ‘already spiritual persons.’

I had already earlier shared with her that I was kinda afraid to go back into the water, and had planned to go down to Hapuna Beach, but she suggested that I go to where Houman had been found drowning in July 2005. I was hesitant, at first, but she thought it would be good for me, given what had just occurred…so, I got directions and arrived there at sunset, which was when he was found.

While I was there, I got into the water where he last swam…and I received ALL of the same info…I felt his presence and he, again, told me it was suicide, but he was happy to be out of human form.

The only thing I knew about his physical health before this was that he had been an epileptic, but I heard that he was tall and handsome and strong …and, I had had a neighbor while a teen, who was epileptic…he seemed pretty normal…I had seen one photo of Houman and he WAS tall, dark, and handsome. Still, people with epilepsy can die, of course…BUT, I had no reason (THEN) to think he committed suicide. I had been told ‘he drowned.’

Well…after what happened while having the bodywork and then ‘receiving info again from him’ at the spot he drowned, on my way home I called up my landlord on my mobile phone and told him I had to share with him something very important. He told me he would make dinner for us (something we traded off doing now and then, since we were both single and living within 70 or so  feet of each other).

I need to go back in time here to share that the landlord – Grigor Fedan, another Yogananda devotee, had joked with me twice…once before I moved into the cottage, and again in January, about my maybe seeing Houman’s spirit in the cottage.  I always took it as THE FUNNIEST THING he knew to say to me, because we would have debates post dinner, sometimes, about agnosticism versus his beliefs… my argument was ALWAYS ‘you have NO proof.’

Well…that evening, I asked him why he had inquired in January as to whether or not I had seen Houman in the cottage… WITHOUT ME TELLING HIM WHAT B told me, he told me that Houman had told him he was ‘leaving some of his energy behind in a specific place in the cottage’ for someone who would be coming to live there…and, Grigor added, that it was supposed to be for ‘someone Houman would be working through.’

OK, so the ‘crying about it time’ began…earlier I had been UNNERVED… now, I was becoming UNHINGED EMOTIONALLY…

I had. on the first day of contact from Houman. gotten the same info from 2 independent people, who had not discussed this, and it was beginning to add up to what I ALWAYS SAID I NEEDED – Scientific evidence…well, ‘proof’ of some sort versus ‘just experience.’

So…time went on…

THEN, the third person ‘turned up.’

In this case, it was Houman’s only sibling, Babak, a nuclear medicine researcher, at a prominent University!

He came to island with his wife to build a white coral memorial to Houman in the black lava fields, across from where Houman was taken out of the ocean. (Unfortunately, it has been dismantled by others who eventually used the coral to build their own memorials, but it was there for a long time.)

When Babak came to island, Grigor asked me to go to dinner with them, so that I could meet him.

I was still very ‘unnerved by all of it,’ and not fully convinced, although in the meantime I had had more experiences of Houman, which I will write about another time…and they all seemed as real as my sitting here typing right now does.

In fact, I was STILL trying to put distance between what was happening to me and anyone new, so I asked Grigor to not even mention me…I said, “I don’t see any reason to meet him.”  I was still trying to put distance between me and Houman, I think! his only sibling was ‘too close for comfort!’… I realize now that I, myself, hadn’t fully accepted it all…because it meant my whole life was changing…HAD to change.

Grigor went to dinner with them, and came home and told me that he ended up telling Babak that his renter had been visited by Houman, AND THAT BABAK THEN SAID, “Ah…so, THAT is who Houman was talking about.”


It turned out that Babak had been told by yet a third person (not related to Grigor or B, nor anyone who had been told by them) that Houman had been meditating hard on ‘leaving energy behind for someone who would be coming to live in the cottage.’


Three ‘was the charm.’

THAT was the night I FULLY believed in my own experiences…and in everything Houman’s spirit had been telling me… which I will share in my next note about this.

“Amazing Grace”

I also have a number of add’l ‘pieces of the puzzle’ to share, as I continue to get out all of this…to leave in cyberspace…for all who know me to read about.

I know that each of you will make of it what you ‘will,’ as I used to do…

But, this happened to ME:

Master of Science in Psychology – Research  emphasis!

IQ = 148

No mental illness, other than some ‘ADHD,’ which I really think is just me being left-handed.

A prior STAUNCH anti-spirituality person…someone who thought it was BAD for mankind.

But, now I believe… in God, in souls, and in reincarnation…

…more to come.

Thanks for listening to Part I.

Sunset, 3-24-2012

Saying a prayer, 3-24-2012, second anniversary of Houman’s connection with me, taken by a couple… I went alone on that second trip to A Bay, where he was pulled from the water.